Bird Dude Nie Bufan CH 014 No Crime in Self-defense

A few days after the garden party ended, a group of extremely shining stars became known in Xishan City, and their interesting tales and rumors were talked about by all the people.

You c an fi nd t he la te st cha pte rs at ( th e ir on tr ee bl oo ms. c o m )

Nie Bufan, a guy who fears that the world will not be too chaotic, had a whim during a chat. Based on the information from Zhang Junshi and Li Yi and his “detailed” observations, he drafted a list of celebrities and called it “the eight Gongzi of wealth and honor” and “the seven Miss Beautiful” (these two titles made all the famous people on the list very disgusted later, but they were already powerless to change anything at that point.) The reason why Gongzi had one more than the young ladies, was because Nie Bufan added his pseudonym “Li Xiaoyao” on the list.
Ranked first was the royal family member Si Chenyu. As everyone knows, according to the so-called most mysterious is the most attractive factor, this noble Gongzi had never even shown up from beginning to end. But there were many rumors about him, aside from his talents in literary and martial arts, but just his distinguished status alone was enough to overwhelm all the heroes, so he received the well-deserved top spot.
In second place was Chen Muran, the youngest grandson of a duke. He was the first in this year’s imperial examination. He was handsome and talented, just his smiling face was enough to enchant thousands of young girls. He practically shined whenever he made an appearance in public, all other men were overshadowed by his brilliance. Women’s admiration, men’s resentment, he was simply an existence that the heavens had created to bring chaos to the country and the people.

There was a saying that suited him: “Being too perfect is also a sin, so I am guilty.”
The third and fourth places were also outstanding figures.

Li Yi and Zhang Junshi were also on the list. Li Yi was a low-key person and lacked interest in the tian nu, but his background was extraordinary, and it was hard not to attract attention. In addition, his handsome appearance, cold expression, and the strong physique of a martial arts practitioner were enough to make women’s eyes mist with infatuation. He ranked fifth.

The sixth was Zhang Junshi. His reputation as the ‘god of wealth’ was not a bluff. His net worth had always been a mystery, businesses spread across the country. This was not because of his long-term vision, but because his father’s favorite thing to do was to send him to places where even birds do not sh*t in (TN: expression for the boondocks, middle of nowhere). But he could not only survive the harsh and uncivilized places, but also stimulate the local economy and infrastructure, creating various admirable myths. Marrying such a man, you will be able to live without worry for several lifetimes.
The seventh place was Li Huai. He shouldn’t be so low on the ranking as he was handsome and polite to women as well as much better at socializing than Li Yi. And in addition to his influential background, women were easily attracted to such a man. Unfortunately, Nie Bufan pulled him into the ranks of bromance on the first day, and his new reputation as being attracted to men completely concealed his other qualities.

Of course, in Nie Bufan’s opinion, this guy was actually an airbag that would burst with a single poke, his glamorous appearance hiding an arrogant nature.

The eighth place was Nie Bufan, but he used the name “Li Xiaoyao”, his identity was a mystery, becoming famous for his daring show of love for Li Huai. He had a cheerful personality and a friendly smile which made it easy for people to develop good feelings. Since that shocking first day, many women regarded him as a bosom friend, and some men with the same orientation also threw a few subtle “You know, I know” mysterious glances at him from time to time……

After Nie Bufan made up the list, he had Tu Beng hand out the flyers while selling tea eggs (TN: egg boiled with flavorings which may include black tea). Overnight, everyone on the list quickly became famous. And Nie Bufan’s tea eggs were also taking the city by storm.

Zhang Junshi felt that he should yield his god of wealth title to Nie Bufan. Inspired by it, Zhang Junshi learned the new trick of using flyers to advertise and increase the visibility of the businesses under his name.

Nie Bufan’s daily life was quite the breeze these days, becoming a little too self-satisfied and did not pay attention to the danger that was looming ahead.

When he was on another swagger across the market, he was gloriously kidnapped.

You c an fi nd t he la te st cha pte rs at ( th e ir on tr ee bl oo ms. c o m )

“What’s the situation?” Nie Bufan, who was trussed up, lay on the bed and looked at the man sitting in the chair drinking tea.

“Brother Li, if you just wanted to see me all you had to do was say it, why use such a grand method?”

Li Huai smiled coldly: “Even at this time, you still have a quick tongue, it seems that you won’t cry without seeing the coffin.”

“It can’t be said that way, we are recognized lovers. Love to hate and hate to love or something, that is a kind of inclination, I understand.”

“Understand, my foot!” Li Huai exploded again, “You can continue to be self-satisfied, let’s see if you’ll be able to laugh afterwards!”

“What do you want?” Nie Bufan suddenly revealed a shy expression, and said timidly, “You aren’t going to do this and that to me, are you?”

Li Huai’s expression darkened, and he gritted his teeth and said: “Doing ‘this and that’ to you will not be me! Since you are shameless, I will fulfill your wishes!”

Saying so, he clapped his hands, and immediately walked in from outside the door, three big and burly men.

Nie Bufan’s eyes flashed a sharp light, and he said leisurely: “You heartless rat, how cruel……”

Li Huai nearly vomit up blood and ignoring Nie Bufan, he said directly to the three big guys: “This person is yours today. You can mess with as much as you want, just leave him a breath remaining.”

The three big guys licked their lips, smiled happily, and rubbed their hands.

Nie Bufan rolled around, and shouted, “Rather than let these people do it, it’s better to do it yourself, at least we both have sexually transmitted disease!”

Pu!” Li Huai spat, “Who has sexually transmitted disease!”

“Don’t hide it, you passed the disease to me, and I didn’t even blame you.” Nie Bufan glanced at him sorrowfully.

The expressions of the three big men changed, and the expressions on their faces became hesitant as they look at Li Huai and Nie Bufan.

“Nonsense!” Li Huai was furious, his reputation was almost completely ruined by this guy. And these three guys, what kind of expression was that! Did they truly believe he was sick? Besides, he just wanted them to beat him up. What business was it of theirs if he was sick? Ah, pei, he was not sick!

Nie Bufan said earnestly: “You are not long for this world, why have such a big temper? And you even have to pull a few innocent people to share your fate, how could I have fallen for such a cruel man?”

“Utter rubbish! (TN: literally he said ‘fangpi‘ which means to fart, a vulgar curse that means ‘utter rubbish’)” Despite having come from a strict household, Li Huai finally could not contain his urge to curse vulgarly.

One of the three big men said, “This Gongzi, it is better for a dying person to accumulate some good virtue. If we kill him in the process of teaching him a lesson, we can’t afford that responsibility.”

The other two also nodded vigorously: “That’s right, and listening to this Gongzi, he seems to be your paramour.”

Li Huai was practically about to scratch the walls with how insane he was going!

He had plenty of subordinates in his entourage, but in order to keep the whole thing secret, he deliberately found a few irrelevant strangers, but who knew just a few words was enough to scare them off.

Li Huai said angrily: “Is the money given by Ben Gongzi not enough? You don’t need to care about other things, just do what you should do.”

“If he’s killed……”

“Ben Gongzi will be fully responsible!” Would he die that easily?

The three big guys seemed convinced again.

At this time, Nie Bufan spoke up: “Actually you probably don’t know who this Gongzi is.”

Li Huai’s expression changed.

“His family has huge influence. When the time comes for a murder case, pushing you out as a substitute would just be a matter of opening one’s mouth.” Nie Bufan said leisurely, “If I were you, I would never have anything to do with such a person. Even towards his lover he is able to be ruthless, let alone the three of you who are nothing? For just a bit of money, is it worth it?”

The expressions of the three big guys changed, and their bodies moved subtly towards the door.

“Don’t listen to his nonsense! I promise I won’t involve you in any trouble.”

“Then how come you don’t do it yourself, and don’t use your own people, but spend money to find strangers?”

Li Huai didn’t know how to argue with that, his face becoming blue.

The three big guys finally made up their minds, and they rejected the deal with a hasty expression, and fled the room in a panic.

“Hahahahahahaha……” Nie Bufan laughed over and over.

Li Huai bursted into a rage that could provoke the thunder and erupt volcanoes.

“Actually,” Nie Bufan laughed enough and began to console him, “We don’t have any deep hatred, and you should calm down after giving me a few punches. Why bother to find outsiders?”

“Beat you, I’m afraid I will dirty my hands.”

“We even kissed, if you’re going to be dirtied you have already been so.”

Just mentioning this sent Li Huai into another angry fervor! He had never seen a person who acted so unscrupulously, laughed at everything, and didn’t care about his own reputation.

In truth, Li Huai didn’t actually have much resentment towards this guy, he was just annoyed of being tricked inexplicably. He had never once lost this much dignity, so he couldn’t swallow it down!

“Stop talking nonsense, Ben Gongzi won’t let you go easily today!” Saying so, he drew a long whip from nowhere, and walked towards Nie Bufan with a frightning expression.

Nie Bufan looked at him with melancholy, and suddenly felt that the situation might become a bit ugly……

“What?” Zhang Junshi was shocked, “Bufan is missing?”

Li Yi’s face was dark and said, “Well, it should be my younger brother who kidnapped him.”

“Then what are you waiting for, hurry up and save him.” He knew exactly how hard Nie Bufan had offended Li Huai, and being taken away by him would mean a lesson of pain. He could not imagine that Nie Bufan, who was afraid of pain, could endure the torture.

Li Yi nodded, and said as he walked: “I know where he is, come with me.”

The two quickly moved towards where Nie Bufan was. It was a secluded courtyard. As soon as they stepped in, they heard someone screaming.

Zhang and Li both had alarmed expressions and accelerated their pace. As soon as they got to the door and were about to kick it down, suddenly they saw that the door was opened by someone inside.

Nie Bufan wore an exaggerated expression and said in horror: “It’s terrible, terrible!”

“How are you?” Zhang Junshi hurriedly stepped forward to look him over, and found that he didn’t seem to be injured except for the disheveled clothes.

Nie Bufan shook his head and said: “I didn’t want to, but I was kidnapped suddenly, and even threatened with breaking my hymen. I was just too afraid and panicked and helpless. As a result, a tragedy happened.”

Break……break what hymen? Can this guy speak a language that humans understand?

Nie Bufan looked innocent and waved his hand: “I can’t explain it clearly. Go in and see for yourself.”

Zhang and Li looked at each other and walked inside at the same time.

The scene that met their eyes was truly……too appallingly tragic……

They witnessed a pile of chickens, yes, a pile of chickens drowning out a human figure lying on the ground, with only two twitching feet revealed.

The flock of chickens scratched, pecked, tore, and stepped on that person, each displaying their magical powers, and leaving behind traces of their passion.

In the air the chicken feathers danced with pieces of ripped clothing, and the background sound of moans underneath it all was truly pitiful.

Zhang Junshi covered his eyes and couldn’t bear to look again.

Li Yi’s mouth twitched, hesitating whether to go up and save his little brother or not. He thought that Li Huai would rather be trampled to death by chickens than to be seen in such a tragic state.

He really can’t figure it out. Although Li Huai’s martial arts was not that great, but he should have no problem dealing with a bunch of chickens, right? How did he end up like this?

You c an fi nd t he la te st cha pte rs at ( th e ir on tr ee bl oo ms. c o m )

Nie Bufan sighed sympathetically. Many of his chickens were poisonous. Li Huai was just too careless and ended up swallowing his own bitter fruit.

Let’s take three seconds to silently mourn for the man.

Forgive him, he was just defending himself, just defending himself.

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18 thoughts on “Bird Dude Nie Bufan CH 014 No Crime in Self-defense”

  1. Last us light a candle for our favorite victim, Li Huai. As the only one foolish enough to continuously challenge and inevitably lose against Nie Bufan, he has given us endless laughs as he constantly kicks the iron plate! As our all powerful Chicken God would write in his obituary, “Here lies Li Huai. Lover of men, giver of STDs, trampled by chickens.”

    Do what you need to to protect your efforts! I’ve seen sites paste paragraphs as pictures to help deter theft. None of it bothers me too much. Those bots are relentless!

    Thanks for your hard work translating!

    Liked by 9 people

  2. I am now convinced that our Chicken Lord Nie Bufan is truly invincible. I mean, anybody trynna mess with him is digging their own grave!!!

    I’m sooo in love with this novel!!!! Thank you for your efforts dear translator and please please don’t stop translating else my poor heart will break 😦

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Thanks for the chapter! The made’up list of “the eight gongzi of wealth and honor” made personally by NB is so iconic and funny. I’m looking forward to hear more of Si Chenyu and Chen Muran, who i think will make more appearances in the future chapters, because i have a feeling the author will not describe some characters in a way that will make readers want to know more about them, only to not put focus on them in the next chapters. I have the same feelings about them that i had when Li Huai was introduced. Now, Li Huai is too of an arrogant, selfish, rutless character to the people that he consider wrong him, to make me want to see him again, so if he will not appear again or is just mentioned i will not miss him, but i hope he will not die, he is the brother of Li Yi after all, and maybe he has some part of him that is redeemable.


    1. Lol, don’t think he is that ruthless. You haven’t seen a true villian if you call Li Huai that. At most he is just a spoiled brat and I’ve got to admit Nie Bufan embarrassed him terribly (humorously) before. Dine and dash and a french kiss from same sex in public? Come on Nie Bufan was just asking for revenge. It was not like he was still in the modern times but the ancient times where the rich and nobles could beat up commoners and get away with it. If it werent for his chickens and that he is the MC Nie Bufan would have definitely been beaten up several times now. Smh, his antics are funny as hell to us but it should probably be labelled: do not try this at home.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, ruthless was not the right word, but i was a bit annoyed by his iresponsable and inexcusable actions, and i indeed pity him when i saw him get bullied by Nie Bufan, but in general i had mixed feelings after i read the scenes between Li Huai, NB and the three men who misunderstood everything, i even resented the author a bit because i felt he took it to far in those scenes, and i took it out on “poor Li Huai”, that’s way i hope he will not die. I hope similar encounters are rare and are resolved more quickly and without so many misunderstings, because indeed Nie Bufan is just asking for it most of the time, and i don’t want to see too many of this situations happening.


        1. Haha you didn’t enjoy that kidnapping scene? Maybe Nie Bufan’s insinuations mislead you. Li Huai only intended the three men to just give him a beating and not as Nie Bufan was hinting at, that is gangrape or something like that. So that’s why Li Huai didn’t really get why Nie Bufan brought up STDs.

          Liked by 2 people

      2. I did know that LI Huai didn’t not specifically order those guys to gang rape NB, but from those conversations full of insinuations, fulled by shamelles remarks of NB and the angry words of Li Huai who, told those guys that they can do what they want with him, who knows what it could been if it was someone else, and not NB, who we know that even if those guys wanted to do something, they will not get the chance. Why i want to say is even if those guys weren’t told to do that, from the description of the way they looked at NB and you have to ask yourself why they were so afraid to get a STD if they don’t don’t planned to do that, Li Huai didn’t know why it’s mentioned, yet those guys did. It was a misunderstanding, it was mentioned that he only wanted to give him a beating, but it wish is was not writed that way.


  4. I don’t have any hesitance to comment immediatly what i honestly think about the chapters, after i read them, and i’m refering to all the novels you translate, because i trust that you will point out what i didn’t understand well or when the emotions of the moment gets me and i exagerate or i judge too harsh the characters or what the author wants to tell, so i enjoy when you write me comments like this.😊😉


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