A strip of white appeared on the horizon. Nie Bufan woke up in soreness. Seeing Wang Shichan, who was meditating at the entrance of the cave and absorbing the essence of heaven and earth, he couldn’t help feeling vexed.
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Looking at that aloof and ethereal appearance, who would have thought that he would do something shady like stealing people out their beds! Could there be someone more wretched than him in this world?
Nie Bufan was a little depressed. Several of the residents in Chicken Nest Village currently have an improper relationship with him, the village head. His pure and jade-like body was now in a constant “honest” state. How will he marry a wife and have children in the future? (TN: play on words, ‘honest and sincere’ = ‘bare and naked’)
Fine, he could admit that he was indeed a little bent. And if he were to wreck women after wrecking men, then that would be a bit unethical of him. But asking him to stay and walk on this path, he was also really reluctant. And besides, he was the one on the bottom, rocking back and forth between pain and pleasure every time to the point he no longer had a moral backbone at all.
Not good, he had to think of a countermeasure quickly, he couldn’t continue this way.
Nie Bufan got up fiercely. Instantly the chrysanthemum bursted with pain and all he could do was pound the stone bed.
Wang Shichan flashed over immediately, rubbed his head, and asked calmly: “Are you okay?”
“Why don’t you try it!” Nie Bufan yelled viciously.
Wang Shichan’s gaze shifted from his face to his naked upper body, and then to the lump at his lower abdomen……and then he shook his head inexplicably.
Nie Bufan followed his gaze and looked as well. Instantly, he exploded: “What are you looking at? Haven’t you ever seen Viagra?”
“……” Wang Shichan turned his face and looked at the stone wall earnestly.
Nie Bufan snapped his face over and threatened: “The relationship between the two of us, you’d better be tight-lipped about it. If you dare to reveal a word, I will castrate you.”
Wang Shichan once again couldn’t help but move his gaze down to “that lump”.
Nie Bufan casually pulled the hem of Wang Shichan’s robes to cover his vitals, and continued: “I was going to make a fuss, but for the sake of our acquaintance, I won’t bicker with you. I hope this kind of thing does not happen anymore in the future. What do you think?”
“Oh.” Wang Shichan responded nonchalantly.
“Oh?” Nie Bufan squinted his eyes, “Don’t think of fooling me, you swear to the Buddha that you will never do this to Nie Bufan again!”
“I swear,” Wang Shichan raised his hand slowly and his lips moved a few times, saying something silently, “……”
Nie Bufan strained his ears hard but didn’t hear what he was saying at all. He couldn’t help but rage, “Could you speak it a little louder!”
“The Buddha said: It cannot be spoken.”
Nie Bufan finally realized the feeling of being stunned speechless. The man in front of him was simply a demon in a kasaya (TN: kasaya, a patchwork outer vestment worn by a Buddhist monk).
Wang Shichan helped Nie Bufan pick up the clothes and said slowly, “Put it on.”
“I won’t.” Nie Bufan slapped it away, and shouted arrogantly in his birthday suit, “You want me to take it off then I have to take it off, you want me to put it on and I have to put it on? No way!”
Wang Shichan calmly said, “Be careful of getting a cold.”
“The angry fire within me is big enough, I won’t get a cold.”
“Then, don’t wear it.” A smile appeared at the corner of Wang Shichan’s mouth. With his back to the cave entrance, the dim morning light casted a shadow on his smiling face.
Then……then……then……Nie Bufan was defeated……
When the sun was shining up high, Wang Shichan carried the fainted Nie Bufan to the side of the water pool, helped him clean up, dressed him neatly, and then placed him upright under a tree. In the next moment, his figure had flashed away.
Nie Bufan woke up amidst the noise of roosters and saw himself in an idiotic meditating position.
“Wang Fifth, just you wait, you’ll definitely get yours!” He gritted his teeth and roared.
After staggering back to the village, the first thing he saw when he entered his front yard was Zhang Junshi and Li Yi leaning against the door and looking at him with hidden grudgeful eyes.
Nie Bufan adjusted his expression and greeted with a smile, “Morning.”
“Morning?” Zhang Junshi stared at him, “It’s past noon now!”
“Haha, isn’t it?” Nie Bufan passed between the two with a smile. Li Yi grabbed his arm and said darkly, “Where did you go last night?”
“Last night, the night was so charming that I suddenly got the urge to enjoy the moon on the mountain.”
“Enjoying the moon to the extent that you have red marks all over?” Li Yi lifted the corner of his clothes and sneered. “There must be a lot of poisonous insects on the mountain.”
“That’s right, that’s right.” Nie Bufan nodded repeatedly, “I almost had half my life bitten away.”
Zhang Junshi covered his forehead and sighed, “Speak, who is it?”
“Huh?” Nie Bufan had on a bewildered expression.
“Don’t pretend to be stupid.” Zhang Junshi was unmoved, “Who on earth was it?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Nie Bufan muttered.
Li Yi also said, “Is it necessary for us to serve you with torture before you speak the truth? That man deserves your protection this much?”
Nie Bufan turned his head to the side, he really couldn’t say it, it was too shameful! If he hadn’t mistaken the person’s identity, nothing would happen. Thinking back to the last two times when he called out Li Fourth’s name he couldn’t help but feel foolish.
“Nie Bufan!” Zhang Junshi pinched his ears and said with an expression of resentment, “How many people are you going to wreck, hmm? We two are not enough for you to mess with?”
“What are you talking about?” Nie Bufan squinted at them, “How can a honest person like me wreck others? You eat mine, drink mine, sleep mine, and now you still say that I wrecked you? Oh, how wronged I am!”
“……” The two were speechless.
“Go away, go away, let me go back to the room and die.” As he said so, he pushed the two of them away and was about to flash inside.
Both Zhang and Li dragged him back quickly.
“We almost let you slip away again.” Zhang Junshi said with annoyance.
“Don’t change the subject, speak, who is that man?” Li Yi asked.
Nie Bufan used up all his nonsense talking abilities but in the end he still couldn’t get rid of these two people.
Finally he flew into a rage, and he shouted: “What man? Do I need a man to survive? Last night, I was actually self, gong, self, shou!”
This roar really shocked the heavens and shook the earth, and the whole of Chicken Nest Village echoed with ‘self-gong, self-shou’.
Si Chenyu, Chen Muran, Li Huai, tian nu and others on the other side all leaned over and looked over with shock.
Zhang and Li were dumbfounded.
Nie Bufan harrumphed at them through his nose, then squeezed the two of them out of way and walked into the room with a swagger, kicking the door shut behind him with a bang.
Zhang and Li looked at each other, unable to utter anything at that moment.
That night, thunder roared and heavy rain poured down. The simple cottages leaked in the chill wind everywhere, and the residents of Chicken Nest Village did not sleep well at all. Except for Nie Bufan who slept quite well, because he knew that if it rained, Wang Shichan would definitely not come for a night attack.
The next day, Nie Bufan got up refreshed to welcome the sunrise.
After a night of heavy rain, the ground was muddy, and one could get dirty by walking just a few steps. Si Chenyu stood at the window and saw Nie Bufan stepping on the mud happily, so he shouted: “Cook some ginger soup for me, I got a bit of a cold.”
“You appear quite vigorous, how is it you have a cold?” Nie Bufan ignored him and walked toward the chicken coop.
“Nie Bufan.” Si Chenyu said again, “Where are you going? Are you planning to find a secret place to self-gong self-shou?”
Nie Bufan’s mouth twitched, and smiled at him: “I know you are jealous and envious. If you want to learn this secret technique, just say so, why beat about the bush?”
Si Chenyu retreated.
As far as the face was concerned, even ten of him was no match for one Nie Bufan.
“Village head Nie.” At this time, the voice of tian nu Nineteen came, “I don’t know where the clothes I had hanging outside yesterday have blown to, please help me find them.”
“Don’t you have a maid?”
“It’s too muddy outside, is it proper to let women slog in the mud?”
Nie Bufan thought about it. He saw himself as a gentleman so he promised: “Okay, I’ll look around later.”
Nie Bufan had already walked a bit of a distance away when Nineteen suddenly added: “Village head Nie, if you are lonely late at night, you can find others for a chat, don’t hurt your body.”
“Hahahahaha……” Li Huai laughed on the other side and thumped his chest, pointing at Nie Bufan as he shook like somone having convulsions.
Nie Bufan glanced at him mildly, and said quietly, “Huai Huai, I’ll go find you tonight.”
“Hai, hai.” Li Huai’s next breath did not go in right and his face became flushed with choking.
Despite having received so many weird gazes along the way, Nie Bufan still patrolled his territory calmly.
The thunderstorm last night caused a lot of the chickens to recieve a fright, so this morning most of them appeared rather dispirited.
Nie Bufan thought about it and decided that he’ll put some light music for them to smooth their ruffled feathers. The source of the music would naturally be the self-proclaimed literary Chen Muran or Si Chenyu.
Without noticing it, he had walked to the foot of the mountain. Nie Bufan immediately saw the landslide in front of him, the original way up the mountain was now cut in half. More importantly, the pool connected to this mountain was also muddy from the dirt washed into it by the rain. If there was another rainstorm, the pool was likely to be blocked directly, and the treasure trove may not be accessible.
Thinking of this, Nie Bufan immediately went to the tian nu and told her what he had discovered.
Nineteen anxiously said: “What should we do? We haven’t found all the keys yet?”
“Yes, what should we do?” Nie Bufan touched his chin, thinking.
Nineteen walked back and forth in the house, restless.
“Village head Nie, you must help me.” Nineteen looked at Nie Bufan pleadingly.
“It’s not easy.” Nie Bufan sat on the chair, a leg propped up and waving in the air, but his face had on a troubled expression.
“I know it’s not easy, but now I have no other choice but to count on you.”
Nie Bufan knocked on the table, and then said after a while: “Then how about this, you can tell the others a little bit about the location of the treasure.”
“Disclose the location of the treasure?” Nineteen wondered, “Why?”
“What are they here for? For the treasure of course!” Nie Bufan explained, “But now the entrance of the treasure trove is about to be buried, shouldn’t they be feeling urgency?”
“Urgent.” Nineteen nodded.
“So, what will they do?”
Nineteen thought about it, and her eyes lit up: “They will definitely find a way to save the entrance.”
“Isn’t that right?” Nie Bufan said with a smile, “You just need to move your mouth and leave the hard work to them.”
Nineteen was happy at first, and then hesitated: “In this way, wouldn’t they want to enter the treasure trove more urgently?”
“If I don’t find the last key, I won’t even have a retreat route.”
“Then do you want the retreat route, or do you not even want the front route at all?”
Nineteen struggled for a while, and finally nodded heavily and said: “I must have the determination to cut off one’s means of retreat. I believe the Mistress’s prediction, we will definitely unlock the treasure!”
Coming out of Nineteen’s room, Nie Bufan looked up at the clear sky, opened his arms and shouted silently: Let the storm come down harder!
You c an fi nd t he la te st cha pte rs at ( th e ir on tr ee bl oo ms. c o m )
Let’s see if that pool of mud and water don’t beat the sh*t outta of ya!
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